?WHAT WOULD MAKE ME MESSAGE YOU AGAIN, ONCE-PHONE-BUDDY? SOMETHING NOT WHERE I AM ON THE 'EXTINCTION CURVE' INEXORABLY GELLED SOLID...!


 Nancy Hunter z! I am now-- post your-silent-treatment-99%total-ghosting-me, in the further-right side of response to the behavioral-extinction-curve: I am perplexed, vis a vis this presented graph (above) about what if any there could be a 'spontaneous recovery.'

NOW it becomes more-pleasurable NOT to message you; messaging you provokes intense guilt in me, to the extent that I HATE MYSELF NOW FOR UTTERING SWEETNESS TO YOU, in real part because you will not message-back-I-am-certain, in just-as-real-part because your stated wish is to SEPARATE (presumbably-- again with sick 'guessology') meaning no contact from me.

Now it no longer inspires HOPE to message you-- it makes me feel awful. 

Winning by bedtime night feels like putting 'no' on my calendar I keep re you-- to say NO (meaning I sent you no message. Winning for my own dignity means also not having you 'top of mind, Living Presence cognitively, Avatar as I now feeling-foolish for having done-so re messaging you in hopes of a 'phone buddy'... ?WHAT WOULD MAKE ME MESSAGE YOU AGAIN, ONCE-PHONE-BUDDY? SOMETHING NOT WHERE I AM ON THE 'EXTINCTION CURVE' INEXORABLY GELLED SOLID...!

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  1. 2 Steps Forward, 1 BackwardJuly 18, 2024 at 8:51 AM

    OK, Nancy I cannot deeply mean by this entry what aSU-reread here is TOO BITTER; CAsour tone of writ and mood comes betimes 'in spurts and starts': YES THE ZERO OF THIS SILENCE ABIDES AS PAINFUL NEVER OTHERWISE, MOSTLY FOR ITS 'SHOCK TREATMENT'-- YOU WERE THE MOST-EXCITING PERSON TO LOVE TOTALLY IN PERHAPS A DEChaADE OR SO... The lapse this is into oblivion has shaken Seismic Richter 20... but at bottom THE SPONTANEOUS RECOVERY PREVAILS TOO, IN ALL, OVERALL... MY UNSUBSTANTIATED ANTICIPATION OF HEARING YOUR VOICE AGAIN HAS BEEN GIVEN NO BERTH, BUT THE HOPE (ONE OF MY OFT-LETHAL PENCHANTS) TO 'SEE YOU AGAIN (SOMEHOW)' CANNOT BE SHAKEN. *DO* LOVE MEN NOT ME I GUESS LOVE IS GOOD FOR YOU AND I; O SO TRUE THE *MEMORY* OF YOU LIVES LOVE ABOUT AS INTENSE AS EVER WAS-- A GLOW THAT WAS VERY HELPFUL AND YET 'WHILES' IN HOPE AND POSSIBILITY AND HARD *PASSION*... SORRY IF REALLY THIS WHOLE 'SILENT TREATMENT' IS IN ALMOST ALL-WAYS *UNFATHOMABLE* ;-)

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