NANCY...Incumbency falls on me just not to bother you-- at all costs. Yet I say again, you are not gone from my soul, I certainly cannot 'shake' you...But now with the living memory of you warm and gentle in me, I vow and struggle not to be bitter (nor to message in a way I used to do). I AM SUFFERING THOUGH... AS I ALWAYS DO WHEN IN THIS COGNATE WAY AM 'DROPPED' FROM BELOVED'S LIFESPACE.

You know Flower Nancy-- I am forced mostly to guess about you, Beloved of two years full, from lousy tidbits deemed-furtively-gotten from the Web; the real presence of you, however, is the memory I was to have a-loving you those nigh two years.

It would be so easy to be bitter.To me, in my spiriting process of soul about you, I want it to be that I am  not guessing, I certainly do not want to be bitter. And in/at all events You NHz are gone and the polite thing to do, given the way you dropped me, to show you respect by not doing that for which you severally did complain: I message you too much.

Guilty as charged! In the way that I am dubious about messaging you by this/these blog(s), I do not feel as furtive in right-up-front-in-this-public "telling you my feelings" on some yes guess that the-word-does-not-get-back-to-you. Does it? Donno.

At any rate, this is Wednesday, a day of week often and yes furthering dubious feeling, I chokingly message you. My goal so painful a goal is to hold off as long as possible, with just the zero you seem to want from me: YES I am mentally 'crucifying myself' to have noted your uttering 'you make me feel uncomfortable' and as with you and-- only-- I want your peace.

Once you complained that my love for you is 'eggs in one basket'-- no defense you are the most-interesting one in many years to surface in my life-- moreover I am homely as a vulture or warthog-- and have never been attractive to any woman cis-born. I am pauper: you have an endowment by evidence, a trust from the fact of money variously in your family: I have almost no money before my check comes in, and I borrow.

...I only assume that YOU ARE GONE, LIKELY PLEASE THAT YOU HAVE A MAN MAYBE A HUNK and virile, no sissy.

Incumbency falls on me just not to bother you-- at all costs. Yet I say again, you are not gone from my soul, I certainly cannot 'shake' you...But now with the living memory of you warm and gentle in me, I vow and struggle not to be bitter (nor to message in a way I used to do). I AM SUFFERING THOUGH... AS I ALWAYS DO WHEN IN THIS COGNATE WAY AM 'DROPPED' FROM BELOVED'S LIFESPACE.